Leslie and I are back from a visit with Billie's oncologist. The doctor did an ultrasound while we waited, and then talked to us: Billie definitely has an enlarged lymph node, a mass of large size on/in/against her colon, and a mass floating in one of her lungs. She also has some seriously hard fecal masses gumming up her colon. So, the doc's keeping Billie overnight, to first perform a quality enema, and then to perform a needle biopsy, to confirm her suspicions of cancer.
When we told the doc that we had decided, as a family, in the event that it is cancer, that we would do nothing. The doc agreed with our decision, which was hard to hear, and yet comforting as well.
So now we wait.
But I'll tell you this, and I'm crying as I type, because it moved me so: While Billie was on the table, in her pet carrier, she mewed for us, looking for comfort. Leslie told me to sing to her (I sing improvised melodies to Billie, have been doing that for years)... When I leaned close to Billie and started singing to her, she settled right down and started purring.
This is a very painful thing.
The Gift
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[Christmas, 1965 or thereabout]
The boy was very young; perhaps 7 or 8 years old. He loved everything about
Christmas - the lights, the music, Santa ...
10 months ago
3 Comments:
stu - leslie - i am so sorry. i cannot tell you how i wish this could be changed. so cary to have to leave a loved one. but what a gift to be able to connect - for leslie to know how for you to connect and for you to actually see the results. connections in this life is so rare. best wishes on this journey as you cope with your own sadness and help your kids navigate theirs. love you bro!!!!!!
I've done hospice with my Nana... I've watched other people die... the worst thing by far was having to hold my aunts dog while they euthanized him because of cancer... I still cry about it. My heart goes out to your family. I will pray for all of you.
I'm so sorry Stu, I know the pain you are feeling. The decisions are painful and personal. You and your family know what is best for Billie, you are the ones who love her.
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