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Everybody's asking me how it feels, the pain/sadness of missing Nich. I didn't want to give any of you a half-hearted answer, But there's a bunch of you and I didn't want to pay even a single one of you short shrift. I feel, sincerely, that you, my parents, my sisters, my brothers, my dear, dear friends are all owed my best on this one. So here is my answer to your question, "How do you feel about Nich leaving home?"

Here's the short, and emotionally candid answer:

I swear to almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster that I feel fantastic. Yeah, I miss him. I get wistful. I was picking out my morning music and as I browsed the cds, I thought of him and I got the mildest feeling of sadness.

But it's got to be similar to the sadness engineers feel when they last touch something that's going into space. Like when Tom Kelly (You know how we got to the Moon? Well, Tom Kelly was the NASA Program Manager for that there vehicle what brung 'em up there). Anyway, it must feel the way Tom Kelly said goodbye to the Eagle, the Lunar Module (LEM), before it left Earth. Sure, he was bummed that he'd never get to touch it again, but holy cow, it was gonna land on the Moon!

I have a similar sense. Yes, Nich is gone. Not forever, but not in any way the same. It's permanent. This is a separation, a clear crossing of a clear line. It's almost palpable.

But he's going to experience arguably the lengthiest period of unmitigated joy in the average human lifespan. Sure, there are sweeter moments, watching your kids being more, staring at your bride, et cetera. But nothing comes close to college. It's like the greatest summer camp. And I love him and his happiness is my happiness and knowing that his heart is full blinds me to even the slightest pain.

As they say on Reddit, AMA (Ask Me Anything

Nich came back from Hawaii yesterday (soccer tournament - he went with his dad and his sister - they had a great time). He asked if I would make dinner for him, and for his girlfriend. When I inquired as to the ethnicity he preferred (of the food), he chose Mexican.

Now I've never really cooked Mexican before. Polish/Jewish, Chinese, Italian, Cajun, Irish, sure, no problem. And I've made my share of quesadillas, but they are so easy they almost don't count. We live in Southern California, so when you want to eat Mexican, just step outside and there's ten fantastic Mexican restaurants in walking distance. So I've never dug in and prepared a real traditional Mexican entree before. I realized Nich wanted a homemade meal and I realized I wanted to do my best by him and his girlfriend, who is a terrific human being.

I did some scanning through my cookbooks, surfed the web a bit, and narrowed my options. Needed something simple, as I didn't want the wheels to fall off the wagon. I can cook more complicated dishes, but I was nervous about Nich's friend, this was to be the first meal for her at our house. Screwing up was just not an option. The answer: Burritos!

I started out with a recipe I found on the net, but then I changed it so severely that I figured I'd write it down and share it with y'all. It's a very simple dish and I'd assert it's a fine way to explore the cuisine of The United Mexican States. Give it a try as it stands, or with your own variations. Wait, what's that Yoda? "Do or Do Not, there is no Try."

Chicken Burritos, à la Supermarket

Ingredients:

Go to the market and pick up:

1 rotisserie chicken
1 container of pico de gallo, fresh (canned if you have to)
1 can Summer Crisp or Shoepeg corn
1 bundle of green onions
1 pack of flour tortillas
1 carton/can of chicken broth
2 packs of microwave Spanish rice (Uncle Ben's Ready Rice is the best, hands down)
1 bag of shredded cheese (pick your favorite, last night I used 3-Cheddar)
1 container dried garlic (if you don't already have at home)
1 container chili powder
1 container cumin
1 container cayenne pepper

Process:

Deconstruct and shred the chicken, putting just the meat into a large container.
Wash and slice the green onions.
Open the can of corn and drain it.
Microwave both packs of rice.

Get out your biggest, most favorite frying pan. I use my 5-quart Calphalon pan. In the words of Mr. Ferris Bueller, If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.

Get a medium flame going under the pan and put in some butter or oil. Saute the onions until they just turn soft. As they are cooking, toss in a liberal amount of the dried garlic (a teaspoon or two, your taste should guide you). If you want to go to the trouble of using fresh garlic, be my guest, but the taste of the garlic is not a focus in these burritos.

As soon as the onions go soft, toss in the chicken. After a moment, stir in the pico de gallo. Let that sit for a minute or two, then sprinkle in a solid tablespoon of chili powder. stirring and sprinkling, to coat all the chicken. Let it sit for another moment or two.

After you've caught your breath and come to the realization that this is going to taste pretty good, add maybe a quarter cup of chicken broth. This is just to keep things moist, but not swimmy. Then stir in the corn.

Can you start to smell the goodness? Right!?!

Sprinkle in a dash of cumin and then a dash of cayenne pepper. How much cayenne is up to you - some folks dig spicy and some don't.

Lastly, stir in the instant rice. Once everything is good and mixed, lower the flame and let it steep. Let all those flavors infuse the chicken.

As soon as you put your spoon down, heat the oven to 375°. Then get out a lasagna-sized baking dish. Then open the tortillas and the shredded cheese and get ready to fold some burritos.

When the oven temp hits 375, transfer the chicken mixture from the pan into a bowl. Get a big plate for burrito folding and a big spoon. Take a tortilla, put it on the plate. Put one heaping spoonful of the chicken mix onto the tortilla, off-center. Grab a healthy pinch of shredded cheese and sprinkle it on top of the chicken, then fold up the burrito. Not sure how to fold a burrito? Go to YouTube and do a search for Fold Burrito. There are a bunch of videos that all show essentially the same technique.

Once the burrito is folded, put it into the ungreased lasagna pan. When you've got enough burritos in there, cover the dish with foil and pop into the oven for 8 minutes or so. Then remove and serve.

There's lots you can do to adjust this recipe, from changing the meat to to adding chopped jalapeño to covering the burritos with cheese before covering with foil. Have fun with it, and don't stop believing in yourself.

You do not know this song.

On this day in 1930, Constantinople formally became Istanbul, per the Turkish Postal Service Law.

For my folks:

I found this video on YouTube - It contains footage of the mass-death of the anchovies at King Harbor in Redondo Beach. This is about 2 miles from my front door. Wait until the second half of the video for an awesome view underwater. Eerie and Creepy and Heavy-Duty, I tell you what.

It's true, I was born on March 2nd. And yes, it's true, I look fabulous, thank you. What's that? You want to get me a present? Well aren't you the sweetest thing. How about making a big pitch for Forever Parenting? Ask folks on your blogs and Facebook and Twitter feeds to read it. Push them to subscribe. Or not, I also like chocolate and flowers and postcards from small-town America.

"Words, when spoken out loud for the sake of performance, are music. They have rhythm and pitch and timbre and volume. These are the properties of music and music has the ability to find us and move us and lift us up in ways that literal meaning can't."

-President Josiah Bartlet, from "The West Wing"

This was a favorite tune back in college. Sir Laurence Oliver and Bob Hoskins and the groundbreaking audio production crafting of Paul Hardcastle:

I've been a fan of Bill Frisell since college. He's magical. Over the past week, I've been on a real tear, listening to his entire discography. I now feel compelled to spread the word. Go to GrooveShark and give a real listen to any of his albums. Maybe start with East/West or The Intercontinentals or Unspeakable or The Willies.

Hey, thanks to all the lovely folks who asked what they could do to support Forever Parenting. You are the sweetest friends a guy could hope for.

So, here's some stuff you can do: If you have a blog, put our link in your blogroll. Write a review on your blog (you don't even have to be nice, I'll take any press I can get!) - If you're on The FaceBook, mention us in your feed. Follow us on The Twitter - @4everParenting - and retweet our tweets. Also, go visit the site and comment on the articles/essays. And eat more fiber.

Want to do even more? Find us a sponsor, 'cause maintenance ain't free! :¬o

Thanks for the love! ♥

GNMParents has become Forever Parenting, a streamlined version of the same parenting community blog you've shown your love all these years. I've worked hard to shape Forever Parenting into something worthy of your eyes. The color palette is Leslie's. The database and server management is Kevin's. The writers are still the writers, though there's a few new and a few departed. So, nu, go give it a taste, what could be bad?

*hat-tip to Dave Mark

Brand new Lucinda Williams, for those who need six strings to hold up their broken heart.

Everyone has a few things that drive their passions, external "things" that draws their obsession, their ardor. Maybe you're into sports or music or ballet or knitting or electronics or woodworking or deep-sea diving. These things have a purpose, and that purpose is to heal. To wash away our sins, to medicate our souls, to heal us. To make us whole.

For me, it's cinema. The movies make me whole.

But why? What about the movies makes me feel the way I do?

I am in the middle of my latest rewatching of P. T. Anderson's Punch Drunk Love. It stars Adam Sandler and Emily Watson, who fall in love in front of our eyes. This is both painful and joyous, as they stumble over each other, emotions wreaking havoc. Like any real-life horror, I am torn, wanting to shield my eyes, and yet equally desirous of a wide-angle lens with which to take in every possible view. This film is one of those perfect films in that regard, one of the best awkward romance movies in the history of film.

And as I watch it, as I see Adam Sandler's character in the act of choosing to make a horrible mistake, I yearn to stop the action and run up to him and say, "No, don't, stop, come back!" And yet I can't. I am enfeebled, forced to watch helplessly as he screws up yet again.

He reminds me of me.

I think of my past at times, whether it's convenient or not. And some times I think of choices I've made, choices that were not in my best interest. Bone-headed, dim-bulbed choices. Dreadful choices. And there's that frustration, like popcorn husk in my teeth, as I ache to go back and fix it, to stop myself and make a different choice.

And I know that I can't, which makes it worse.

So what's this healing of which I speak? This is that moment, the moment in the film when we turn a corner and the good thing happens. The moment in the film when we see a glimpse of the great wide awesome, the wonderful world of It's All Working Out For The Best. And for films that carry this message, repeated viewing is so very nurturing, because we know that all the wrong turns and stumbles will bring them to this rapture, where Everything Works Out For The Best.

And as we watch, we identify with the main character, and we have a vicarious few hours, as we become them, and we get the great ending, where we get everything we want, where we win.

For me, the healing is when I realize that I too get everything I want, that in the end, I win. I have a wife that is the one I've been waiting for, the one the guy gets at the end of every truly great romance. And I know that if I'd made different choices, I might have missed out on this. So I know that each of my choices was, in fact, the right one, the perfect one, the choice that led me further on the path towards meeting Mrs. Right.

That's what the film Punch Drunk Love does for me. It gives me that healing satisfaction of having made all the right choices. Even if they didn't seem like terrific choices in the moment, they got me here. And that's a feeling worth having.