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So, Leslie goes to Hong Kong for two weeks, just when Billie (our cat) gets severe constipation. Yay for me.

Billie is home from the vet (came home last night, just before Leslie got into a cab to head to LAX). However, until Leslie returns, I have to give the cat a pill *and* a liquid (one is for constricting her colon, as she has a relatively common disorder called MagaColon, where her colon has lost it's ability to tighten, crushing solid waste).

So, this morning, I spent about forty-five minutes trying to figure out a technique to give the cat the pill and the syringe of liquid stool softener.

Turns out the syringe part was easy, as the end (which has no needle, just a tiny tip with a hole in it) can be used to wedge her jaws open. But the pill has to be done with the fingers, and unlike doggies, who are dumber than the sidewalk, cats can't be easily tricked into unlocking their jaws, which are scary jaws. For those of you without cat experience, imagine trying to pill a small tiger with your bare hands. Scary.

I called the vet, who, while very caring and knowledgeable, is not overly articulate or skilled in troubleshooting. So it was up to me. After a few minutes of thinking, while keeping the dog out of the kitchen ('cause, hey, he wants his breakfast), I figured it out. I took the pill, rolled it into a small amount of tuna, and headed for the jaws of terrible biting. At first she locked up, like Fort Knox. But then her baser instincts smelled tuna and she opened up enough for me to get the pill past the jaws. Then it was easy to tilt her head back and massage her throat to get her to swallow the pill.

Only 13 more days of this. I'm so excited.

Seriously, I wish I didn't care about her so much, otherwise I'd board her at the pet clinic for the two weeks and let them deal with it.

Now on with the rest of my day.