Stu News and Photos

My name is Stu and I am here to share what I can.

The other day my wife, Leslie, and I were having an email conversation about an upcoming social event. She asked for my thoughts, so I sent a long list of questions and comments. As I normally do when I find myself growing the list too long, I added a joke question. In this case the question was: How many seas must a white dove sail before she sleeps in the sand? Leslie wrote back the following reply, which so knocked me out with its ferocious intelligence and wit that I asked her to let me blog it. Fortunately for the two people who read this, she said yes. So now, after that monster introduction, is the question and her response:

How many seas must a white dove sail before she sleeps in the sand?

One, and unless the dove that you speak of is a bar of soap or she rides in a gilded cage on a cruise ship, she probably won’t be getting up from that sleep in the sand. It is a big, f---ing ocean! Doves are notoriously poor fliers and can’t glide worth sh-t. And, to top it off, they can’t get adequate food. Doves are seed eaters and are just not equipped to deal with ocean dining. If they do happen to come across some dove-friendly food that is floating around, one good dunk in a rogue wave trying to pick it up and they will get water-logged and will subsequently be unable to dry out to take off again since their feathers don’t repel water. Just like the peace the white dove represents; how far it goes really depends on how far someone is willing to take it.

12 Comments:

James Cooper said...

Does your wife work/have a background in engineering? That sounds like an engineer's answer. Though most engineer's don't have a whole lot of nature knowledge, being that they spent 99% of their time indoors, but they'd be willing to look it all up!

Stu said...

She's not an engineer or anything similar. However, she's a heavy duty management type in a large company, so she deals with workflow and budgeting and problem-solving every day. She's also brilliant (three degrees) and, at heart, an artist. She's the shiznit. How do I know? 'Cause she thought up that answer on the spot, out of her head. My wife is off the hook.

Thimbelle said...

I completely agree - your wife is amazing!

I *loved* that answer!

Is she ever going to blog? I think she would have some great things to say.

T. :)

Suldog said...

"Good answer!" he said, channeling Family Feud.

Stu said...

I asked Leslie and she replied, "I don't know... I don't think so, because my time is pretty filled up."

I get what she's saying, as she works 12 hour days. She appreciates the feedback, and wishes she could blog, but she could never do it from work (they track her every online moment) and when she's home, she's either hanging with the kids (and me) or playing guitar or painting. That's busy.

Mom101 said...

make that six readers--and yes we are fortunate! That's a cool as shit (oops, I mean s--t) response.

Now what if it's a chocolate bar?

Thanks for the comment at my place today. Nice to meetcha, Stu!

Stu said...

Mom 101- The censoring on her reply was her own (probably because she knows that her mail gets read by company watchdogs). She normally wouldn't censor herself, and we're both politically opposed to censorship of any kind. We both believe that as long as you communicate honestly, from the heart, that the actual words are immaterial. Fuck and Shit are fine vocabulary words, in the same way that Red and Blue are fine colors.

As for the chocolate bar, do you mean "How many seas must a chocolate bar sail?"... I would have to ask her, but for me, a chocolate bar won't get more than a few paces before I snag it and introduce it to my gastrointestinal system. Leslie is more partial to dark chocolate and I to milk. I will ask her what she thinks, maybe tonight when she gets back from soccer practice.

As for your blog, I meant what I said. And, to add further, what you do is a blessing. You make people feel better. You make people feel less alone. You make people feel less alienated. That is a true blessing.

Ron Sullivan said...

How many roads must a man walk down before someone calls him a cab?

I do like Leslie's answer. Observant. Also fun. Also timely. May I quote it, with a link to here?

Stu said...

Ron - funny line about the cab!

As for the quoting back to here, hells to the yeah! Leslie says "That's ok with me."...

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