Arianna Huffington posted a paragraph about finding your true love:
"Tomorrow's HuffPost Featured lineup will include a collection of takes on relationships, triggered by Kathy Freston's terrific new book, The One. How do you know you've found your soul mate? According to Kathy, the clearest sign is "that you like who you're becoming when you're with this person." I love how this notion takes the idea of finding "the one" out of the fairy tale land of Prince Charmings sweeping us off our feet and puts the onus squarely on ourselves. It's all about finding your best self, not losing yourself in another."
Kathy's line about liking who you're becoming is incredibly right on, especially with Leslie and I. We both agree that we love who we've become as our relationship has evolved (and cemented at the same time). I think of my self-perception now, compared with my self-perception five or ten years ago. The difference is, at times, staggering. I feel head and shoulders taller than my 25 year-old version of myself.
Sure, a lot of it has to do with my success as a father and a husband and a painter, but all of that success is in my head. Sure, Nich got a 4.0 this semester, and sure, Leslie is the happiest, giddiest that she's ever been, and sure, I've painted some work that looks like a real artist painted them. But I didn't get money for them, or a medal from the school, or a certificate from my wife (although the other night she... Never mind)... And yet I don't give a tinker's cuss. I paint for myself as much as I parent for my kids: I pour myself into the process, and don't think about results until after I'm done. Yes, I care about the results, and when it doesn't work out I am bummed for a moment, but that passes in seconds, and it's on to "what's next". And that is a great feeling, like surfing, taking each wave for what it is, not judging it, and not focusing on the last wave, as the next one is coming up pretty fast.
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