Stu News and Photos

My name is Stu and I am here to share what I can.

10:50 AM

Missing Nich


Everybody's asking me how it feels, the pain/sadness of missing Nich. I didn't want to give any of you a half-hearted answer, But there's a bunch of you and I didn't want to pay even a single one of you short shrift. I feel, sincerely, that you, my parents, my sisters, my brothers, my dear, dear friends are all owed my best on this one. So here is my answer to your question, "How do you feel about Nich leaving home?"

Here's the short, and emotionally candid answer:

I swear to almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster that I feel fantastic. Yeah, I miss him. I get wistful. I was picking out my morning music and as I browsed the cds, I thought of him and I got the mildest feeling of sadness.

But it's got to be similar to the sadness engineers feel when they last touch something that's going into space. Like when Tom Kelly (You know how we got to the Moon? Well, Tom Kelly was the NASA Program Manager for that there vehicle what brung 'em up there). Anyway, it must feel the way Tom Kelly said goodbye to the Eagle, the Lunar Module (LEM), before it left Earth. Sure, he was bummed that he'd never get to touch it again, but holy cow, it was gonna land on the Moon!

I have a similar sense. Yes, Nich is gone. Not forever, but not in any way the same. It's permanent. This is a separation, a clear crossing of a clear line. It's almost palpable.

But he's going to experience arguably the lengthiest period of unmitigated joy in the average human lifespan. Sure, there are sweeter moments, watching your kids being more, staring at your bride, et cetera. But nothing comes close to college. It's like the greatest summer camp. And I love him and his happiness is my happiness and knowing that his heart is full blinds me to even the slightest pain.

As they say on Reddit, AMA (Ask Me Anything


LT said...

Great piece. Celebrating our children's milestones is such a gift. I have always subscribed to Gibran's philosophy: "though they are with you yet they belong not to you." Personally, I find it tough to send them off, I celebrate with my head and mourn their absence with my heart. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on separating, it helps.

Suldog said...

Stu, it's been a while since I stopped by, and I apologize for that. I think you've got a wonderful attitude toward this. The analogy to the lunar lander is quite good. God bless you both!

Dave Mark said...

Yet another reminder of why you are my favorite writer. Beautifully put. And Lori, thanks for the Gibran quote. Really hits home for me...

- Dave

Ericka said...

wandering thru to say 'hi!' and 'why yes, i AM still alive!' and found this. beautifully put.

i'm glad the empty nest hasn't been too empty!

Asha Dornfest {Parent Hacks} said...

Off to college! Wow, Stu, look how far we've come! I recently said this to a friend about my son who started middle school this year: "Every step he takes away from me makes us closer." I meant it. Such a joy to watch your child stride out into the world. Congrats to you all!