Stu News and Photos

A long time ago, before any of you were born, there was a period of history called "The Eighties." It was a fine time, especially during the second half of that mad glorious bastard of a decade. I was in college, enjoying every moment of experiencing life outside of myself, especially with regards to culture. Music, art, dance, food. And it is that last bit of culture that I will recall here for you now, in hopes that you can learn the valuable lesson of: Don't let people fool you, there *is* such a thing as the perfect burger.

It was 1987, summertime, and I was spending time as the guest of my ever-patient brother and his wife. Such wonderful memories of that summer, including the many evenings where he would expose me to local delicacies. French food, Thai food, and the ever-popular American hamburger.

It was during one of these burger runs that my brother suggested Five Guys. I was not familiar with the place, but at that time I wasn't familiar with much, so I gave my assent and off we drove. 15 minutes later, i was knee-deep in the warm waters of a gastronomical mind-melter. Yes, it was *only* a hamburger, but it was, without a doubt, the best hamburger I'd ever eaten, without exception.

Many years later, I found myself living in Los Angeles. No Five Guys, but a fine place to live. Still, whenever we'd have burgers, I had to stash away my blissful memories of Five Guys, as no other place could produce a patty that even came close.

Recently, a friend mentioned that he had recently eaten at Five Guys and the memories rushed into my mind. Sadly, no Five Guys near me. But then my friend wondered aloud if Chicago had a Five Guys, which was his next vacation stop. I thought, hey, does Five Guys have a website with a store locater? I checked, they did, and I was able to get my friend the address of a Chicago Five Guys. ---gears slowly turning in my head--- hey, um, if I was able to find out if there was a Five Guys in Chicago, then, um... ummm... That means... um... That means that maybe I can find out if they have a Five Guys near me!

And guess what? ... There's a Five Guys Near Me!!!

So, tonight, off I drove to Carson, California, a mere seven miles from my house. Seven miles to the heavenly sight of:



I stepped inside, i ordered, I got my drink, I read for a bit, until my number was called (number 11 for those keeping track). A minute later, this is what spread before me:



Ah, yes, and was it good... Boy, howdy, I'll tell you what, it was as good as ever, a taste like no other, simply heaven.

And now I am light of heart, knowing that no matter how bad the day may get, no matter how grey the clouds, no matter how gritty the smog, I've got magnificent children, a blessing of a wife, a roof over my head, clean water, a safe neighborhood, and now the best burgers in the world just a short drive away. Shall I ask for more? No, I shan't.