Stu News and Photos

My name is Stu and I am here to share what I can.

First, how's the new look? It's a temporary mod, for my core demo who don't enjoy eye-strain. Eventually I'm going to replace the whole look, but for now, watcha think?

Second, the cat is in my chair, so writing this entry is not as easy as you'd imagine. I am essentially sitting on half my ass.

Third, I believe in the Jinx. For those who don't know, I'm a believer in a single, omnipresent, omnipotent being who I refer to as G-d. I'm also a believer in The Jinx. So, when it comes to things I care about, I pay attention to my words and am careful not to invoke The Jinx, just as older Europeans are loath to invoke The Evil Eye.

So, where baseball is involved, I only mention the good news with general comments, or obscure comments. When the news is not so good, instead of mentioning it, I specifically point to a bigger news item, like Senator Craig getting caught cruising and then claiming "I'm not gay."

First, this is hilarious beyond words. While I'm heterosexual, I'm also extensively pro-sex, pro-love. Gay, Straight, Bi, TransGender, whatever. As Zappa said, "... so long as it doesn't cause a murder." So any public figure caught cruising, which, if you read the police report, he totally was cruising, who denies that they're gay, well, I'm gonna point the finger at them, and at society at large.

See, this isn't about Senator Craig. Do I think he's gay? Oh hell yeah. He formed a barbershop quartet with other senators, he supports the Federal Marriage Amendment, and is opposed to passing hate crime legislation when it comes to sexual orientation. And that's just for starters. He's been covering up his true sexual nature for a long time now, and now it's really coming to light.

Except, Why.Do.We.Care?

It's late 2007. Why is Sex still such a taboo? A woman's nipple, a man's penis, homosexuality, whatever... If it brings you pleasure and you're an adult and you do it in private, who cares? And in public, what's wrong with the human body? Why does the shame still linger? Where does this come from? Where did body shame start? Is it Monotheism? Or is there a Darwinian element to it? Is there some sort of biological, evolutionary benefit to hiding the boobies?

Wow. No way you were expecting that, right? And if you're in a barbershop quartet, I apologize, it was a cheap joke.

Meanwhile, The Lone Ranger, mistaking Tonto for a door, shot his knob off.

11 Comments:

cherylann said...

I totally agree. I think it has a lot to do with religion and the conservative population. In my home, nakedness is normal and we try not to focus on our appearances, but on our "insides" instead. I had so many body issues growing up which turned into horrible teenage issues of eating disorders and such that when I had my daughter I made a promise to not focus so much on her outside... even though she is the most beautiful child ever! So, yeah... I never understood what was so wrong with homosexuality and sexuality it general... love is love- does it really matter who is loving who?

Barbara said...

I'm in general agreement with most of what you said. Although I have to wonder if it's good to be in agreement with a man who believes in jinxes.

Melissa said...

I read the link you posted to the police report, and I have to say I am so naive. So, what was supposed to happen after all the foot sliding, and such?

Anyway, good luck with the sports. Love the haircut. Interesting earing. Did it hurt? I can almost not remember when I got mine pierced.

Stu said...

CherylAnn,

Love is Love, indeed. As for your daughter, I hear you... I try to talk to my daughter, and my wife, about their brains and ideas and wit and love and thoughtfulness and ingenuity... But that becomes difficult, because they both live in Los Angeles, the capital of Physical Beauty Is On The Outside. Sucks, really. I mean, I love the weather and such, but for the most part, being an artist in this cultural wasteland makes it tough to parent in a positive way, let alone a feminist way.

On the other hand, we don't have air conditioning, and we only run the furnace about a month or so out of the year.

Stu said...

Barbara,

A post about my jinx faux pas is on its way, as the Sox dropped two in a row after my stupid act of hubris.

And, feel free to disagree. If you dig most of what I said, what part didn't you dig so much?

Stu said...

Melissa,

Well, here's the deal. If you are a gay woman in this world, it's a little easier to get some kanoodlin' when you're up for it. But homosexual men, much more difficult. How many openly gay men are on network tv, compared with openly gay women?

As such, gay men are forced to get their kanoodlin' in less-than-ideal conditions. They require anonymity, among other things, and one of the best places to find that anonymous sex partner is in a men's bathroom.

Essentially, if you think that a fellow homosexual is in the stall next to you, you do the standard gay male test: you put your foot directly against the other guy's foot in the stall next to you. As a heterosexual male, I can vouch for this: Hetero men *hate* touching another male. Think about this - when you watch two men hug, is it the same kind of hug as male/female hetero hugs? No. It's usually fast, and consists of a lot of back slapping, which is the international sign of "Look, I'm not enjoying this all the way, I'm patting, not holding on for very long, I Am Not Gay!"

So when that foot slides over, if the other foot in the other stall is hetero, you can tell, cause the hetero guy will jump three feet in the air, regardless of anything else, even if he is in, how shall we say, mid-launch? No kidding, most American heterosexual men would rather have poo slide down their legs than have another man's foot touch theirs.

And, you can surmise, if the foot in question doesn't recoil and cause a ruckus, well, whispers are whispered, one goes into the other stall, and the kanoodlin' takes place.

As a Jew, I can really understand how shitty it must be for gay men in this world. Discrimination is just not cool, and, as an entire planet, we need to set aside all discrimination and move on.

But that's me.

Melissa said...

Stu, Thank you for being patient in your explanation. Wow, to be reduced to a dirty airport stall, when the world is such as it is. That's just, well, sad.

I, too, accept the zappa axiom that things done of love can't be bad. But, I also admit to hoping that neither of my children are gay mostly because that's foreign to me, and something I don't understand but partly because of what I perceive as the things they'd have to fight in society, such as it is.

Still, bathroom stalls are, well, icky.

Stu said...

Melissa,

Yeah, I hear ya, about what if your kids are gay. As a person who reads the news and such, I get it, life will be easier for them if they are hetero. But I know, at least from your comments, that you would be great if they were, as you'd just slide into unknown waters.

Also, as the father of a daughter, there's a part of me that hopes she's gay, 'cause it would be way, way, way less stress on me when she gets to the dating age. And I'm not trying to be funny. Men rape women, women don't rape women. If my daughter brought home her first real date, and it was a woman, I would rest easy, knowing that if there were a problem, it most likely wouldn't end in violence.

Ok, so that may become my next column. That or the fact that I'm learning about practical menstruation techniques, in case she gets her first period while Leslie is at work.

Melissa said...

Stu, studying up on periods? You are a prepared parent. :) Good luck. That can be (was for me) a traumatic time in the development of a young woman.

As for accepting my kids, no doubt. I love them as they are, warts and all, and will accept and embrace whatever their life entails. No question.

Just the though that one of them would have to go to such desperate measures for love of physical comfort fills me with saddness. I only want them happy, whatever that may mean.

Both very interesting column ideas for your GNMParents site, and both pretty radical from what I have read there. You go boy.

p.s. from their comments here, I officially *heart* your parents.

Suldog said...

Stu:

In deference to your jinx-belief, I will not mention what is happening, nor will I state my optimistic outlook on same.

You're welcome to come to my place and say whatever you want. It is a jinx-free zone.

Barbara said...

Suldog, Stu, the jinx will stay as long as you believe in it.

Looks like you jinxed all three games Stu!! Single handedly!

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